Fun with fire

What the... grrr... ha ha...

lol. So on Monday I took the bus to school because it was snowing. I waited at the stop in front of my house for 23 minutes before it came! It is supposed to come every 5 to 10 minutes. SO today, because I didn't want to be late for work again, I crossed the street over to the parking lot on the other side where there is a different bus that is supposed to come every 3 to 5 minutes.
Wouldn't you know it, I waited for 10 minutes and the busline that runs in front of my house picked people up way before the bus that I went to did. Sigh. It's too funny. I was a few minutes late to work, but they are always nice to me, even when I'm late. Good thing I have a nice place to work where they are so kind!

We're doing this really fun project in my Portfolio class. We're designing a line of home products. I've chosen to do a Spring Cleaning theme with fun bright colored gloves and sponges and dusters etc. I'm calling it "Domestic Diva" which I know has been done before, but this project is supposed to be for fun and to add something else to the good old portfolio.
Are not these gloves FANTASTIC! I think so. It would make me more inclined to scrub a floor if I could wear these. :D

Break ups Suck

Break ups suck. My poor roommate just got dumped with the classic "I just feel like we should only be friends." line. It's such crap. It leaves the person wondering what they did wrong or how they could've done things differently. I thought that with the couple of hum dinger break ups I've had that perhaps they would be useful if someone I care about ever got broken up with. Nope. They were just useless pain. All I could do was sit there and tell her how sorry I was that he had done that. Freakin' useless!

I think I should just tear my heart out and throw it away. It's useless. At least here in Utah. Then I wouldn't have to worry about it getting hurt. Sure, I'd miss out on the possibility of it being happy, but hey, it isn't happy now nor has it been the majority of its time, so why let it get in the way of everyday functions.

I feel like I'm in a time warp. I'm stuck in the year 2001 whilst everyone I care about has moved on to 2009. Its very strange. You're all here, but you're nearly 10 years into the future and I'm not. The more I struggle to catch up the more stuck I get and the more attention I call to myself which is the last thing I want to do.

I've been trying to feel spiritual again. Some of you remember me when I was spiritual. Right? I have lost that and I miss it. I've been wriggling around trying to find it again but keep rolling into massive pits of doubt and bitterness and that of course leads to self-loathing. I just wish I felt like my life was worth something or had some meaning.

Sorry for another negative post. It's dark outside and I have seasonal depression and a computer to type on. So hopefully next time I'll be in a more cheerful mood and have a "good report."

Cabin Fever

Hi. I am bored. We've got ice rain falling outside and I can't go out and do anything. So I've been stuck inside since 1 p.m. Not that I couldn't be doing something useful like homework, but that sounds even MORE boring!

So I was happy to see how hopeful the people of our country are about our new president. Regardless of whether you like the guy or not, hope inspired in the people is a good thing. Also, his promoting of service to others and self reliance are also very good things. Now it's up to every individual to take that hope and make something of it. I am hopeful that this will be a good chapter in America's history books. I am going to go on Saturday to find a volunteer organization and see where I can be involved.

And lastly, a note that a friend told me was finally getting annoying... the countdown... I have made it from triple digits to double digits! YEA!!! Exciting and terrifying all at once! My roommate went to find a job today. She went to the Department of Workforce Services here in Logan and they told her they only had 4 jobs!!!!! All of the jobs required a degree! I had not realized the extent of damage our economy is facing! I hope that when I graduate I can find work! But I suppose I can't worry about that too much tonight.

New Friend Date

Hi. I went on a fun date. This guys name is Justin. We went to a movie and ice cream. He's sweet. He opened doors for me like a gentleman and offered to pay for everything. I'm attempting to be reasonable and not really get serious with anyone. So he's just a cute friend for now. 

Anyway, things are going good with school. I love what I do. I've been stressed about it feeling like I am not as good as I want to be with graphics and websites yet. But Aunt Julie says she felt that way too at graduation, so I feel better.

I'm getting along with ALL of my roommates this semester. I am loving that. I'm kinda distracted so this blog isn't really making tons of sense. I'm talking to Kaylee... so I better go and pay attention better! Love ya'll

2 pounds!

So after a terribly depressing and stressful week I went to Weight Watchers today expecting to have gained a few pounds (due to bad eating) and to my great surprise, I lost 2 pounds!!! Yes!

That brightened my day today along with the sunshine that was so abundant today! Happiness all around!

Let the Spring Time Come!

Hi Everyone,
I've been super super depressed the past few weeks. I am not sure what to write about it. I don't know that there is any advice anyone could give me that I haven't already heard and probably tried. I think it's partly just due to the cloudy skies and gray days. It's all that seasonal depression stuff.
I've been trying to stay active and eat right and sleep well in order to shake it off. But I feel really negative and hopeless. You can tell yourself positive things as much as you want, but some days it just isn't going to get in.

This stuff isn't very fun to read about on a blog I'm sure anyway, so I wont go on and on and on about it. I hope some day soon I feel like my old happy self. It's been a very long time. :(

Your friend,
Heidi

Back To It

Well I am back to school for my FINAL semester!
I can't tell you how happy that makes me! For a long long time I thought I was just not disciplined enough to finish college, but it just goes to show that as long as you're willing to pay money, they'll keep trying to educate you!

I went to my first class today. It's a Portfolio class. You know what they announced? They announced that because of the terrible budget cuts, they were not able to have the faculty they needed for all the classes this semester and so they're cutting my class down to one day a week. Boy am I glad I'm graduating and not just starting with all this budget crisis going on. Its getting really ugly.

I've been unexplainably depressed for the past 3 or 4 days. It was BAD. Thankfully, I feel a bit better today. I think getting back to classes really helped. That and I joined a gym and Weight Watchers today. I'm going for all out healthy.

My newest roommate moved in on the 1st. She is just 18 and it's her first time at college. I showed her around yesterday and the day before. I showed her how to get books and I sat in on her English 1010 class. It was a lot of fun. Reminded me so much of my first day of school. I ALMOST felt sorry that I'll be graduating and leaving college. But then I remembered how much debt I have to pay off from this grand adventure! lol.

Yeah, so anyways, that roommate and another one have been hanging out with me a lot the past two days. They've almost been looking to me as some sort of example... Talk about uncomfortable! No, I'm flattered... I really am... Its just that, WHO looks to ME as an example! lol! I had to laugh at myself for feeling so uncomfortable. It's probably really good for me.

Anyway, this blog is getting verbose and its 2 a.m. and I'm supposedly getting up and working out with Kaylee at 6 with our new gym memberships! So I best be off.