So I've been at my new job for a week and a few days. So far so good. Yesterday was my first photo shoot. We are putting out our fall line soon and so of course we need photos for the catalogs and stores and web site so we organized a photo shoot with local kids. (If you want to get your munchkin in one of our photo shoots, call me and I'll tell you how to apply.)Anyway, the photo shoot was fun. Lots of cute kids. It was an all day affair. We got to the site around 9 and finished up around 4. I have a lovely sunburn. Yes, I put on sunblock... and YES, I missed some spots. D'oh! Oh well... I'll be a lobster for a while.
Even though I like my new job, I must say I HATE starting new jobs. I am such a nervous wreck not knowing how things work or if I'm doing okay or what I'm doing. For the next few weeks I will be wondering every day if I'll survive. My boss is very cool though. He's super patient and fun to work with.
In other news, I'm still not feeling like myself. I know this has to wear off sometime, but it's scary and I feel like I'm losing myself and everyone I love. The past two days I've kind of gotten paralyzed in front of the tv after work. I sit there and wonder what the point is in my life. Is it just to work? Does anyone else ever wonder what to do with their life? I kinda wish I was a mom. It seems to me that would feel really purposeful. What kind of questions run through your minds, you mom's out there?
I guess the thing I really want the most is meaningful relationships with friends and family. I don't want to feel alone. (I know, just like everyone else). Anyway, that's what's been on my mind today. What's on your mind?
3 comments:
It's not all peaches being a mom, but it is great. I sometimes wonder what my purpose is. I have questions about my life all the time. Most of the time I feel like my kids would be better off with a better mom. I am not the best mom in the world. I hope that things start to look up for you. Take care and give me a call. I will talk to you later.
Wow! That's a darling outfit on a darling girl! I love you.
Hi! It was SO NICE to talk to you yesterday on the phone! I just thought I'd respond to your question. I definitely go through phases when I wonder what my purpose and/or mission in life is. It's true that being a mom is a pretty fulfilling job--but sometimes I forget that! Sometimes I feel like what I do is quite meaningless, in fact. I clean, cook meals, do laundry, stop kids from fighting, etc. I know in my heart that what I am doing matters, but sometimes it's easy to forget that and get lost in the mundane things of life. I have to constantly remind myself that my job IS important and strive to find special teaching moments with my children every day and be more than just a maid and a care-taker.
There. A small glimpse into what most moms go through. I think most people periodically question their true worth and purpose. And I'm sure you'll learn some new things about yourself at this new job as you feel more comfortable there and develop new relationships. God has a mission for EACH and every one of us, Heidi, and I know he has an important one for you! I hope you're able to catch a glimpse of that mission and see yourself how God sees you. Hang in there, okay?! I hope and pray you start feeling more like yourself soon. It stinks to have to fake it, but sometimes the phrase "fake it 'til you make it" comes in handy.
I hope to see you next week!!!!
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