Christmas is FAST upon us!!!

I was tired of looking at my gross picture so I decided to post again. I don't have a whole lot going on with me right now. Just working and trying to get everything all ready for Christmas. I have not been loving the crowds this year. Seems like every store is so full of people that it takes 3 times as long to get finished with what you went out to do. Tis the season. *shrug*

We're having a little party here at my mom's house for a few of the Rigby family side (38 of us!!! yikes!). It should be fun. I haven't seen some of my cousins in probably 6 or 7 years!!! I'll try to remember to take some pictures.

Okay. Well I miss you all and hope you're having a lovely holiday season!

Nothing says love like...

A dead mouse in your bag?!? EEEEW! Well at least I know that my cat loves and appreciates me for all I do for him. My purse was hanging up and I went to go to work the other day and found that he had packed me a "lunch".

Ha ha! Good thing I'm not too squeemish! Silly cat.

I totally just fell down the stairs before I wrote this! You know when your heel just catches the edge of the stair and then it keeps thumping down all the others... yeah! Ouch! I'm going to go wimper somewhere.

Happy Holidays!

Time has been getting away from me again... still. :-S

I've been busy with work and doctors. I get home from those things and have dinner and suddenly the evening news is on and it's time for bed again! Wow.

Well my hands are feeling a bit better than they were. I've been looking at my x-rays the doctor took and a lot of things make more sense to me. For instance, it's tough to sit or stand or walk for any extended period of time and I always thought it was just because I'm lazy. Turns out that the twisting/curving of my spine is causing some of the trouble.
My regular doctor says there's nothing they can do about it and that all I can do is try not to aggravate it with being overweight or lifting too much.
I didn't like that answer too much (other than that I do agree about staying in shape so as not to aggravate). So I've been seeing a chiropractor. He's the one who's been able to help relieve the pain in my hands and fingers.

I really want to feel good enough to sit, stand or exercise so I hope this guy can help me find a way. At least he's trying. I'm doing exercises to strengthen my muscles and promote neurological growth... Hopefully that'll help.



This picture makes me laugh. The doctor had me open my mouth as wide as I could and then he took it. So here's my smiling or laughing xray.

I hope all is well with all of you. I am feeling a little bit of the warm fuzziez of the holidays. :)

Crappy Day

All I can say is that I am GLAD today is over. I'm going to eat a piece of chocolate and go to bed!

Stop the World... I wanna get off!

I love my kitteh!

My goodness! How time is flying! I have been wanting to blog for several weeks now. Even tonight's blog will have to be super short. I had to do some checkbook (or rather, debit card) reconciling today as I have been putting it off for far too long.

Anyway, things are going okay here. I'm still house sitting. I've enjoyed it a lot. It's close to work, there's lots of windows to provide sunlight and 2 cats that love me. :) Only one drawback is the cost of providing one's own food. Now don't roll your eyes at me! I know you've all been providing your own food for the better part of the last 10 years if not much longer than that. But if you go a year of eating whatever is available for free and then get thrown back into the mix of it... you too might feel sticker shock! *wink*

I'm excited for my company. Having my office right next to the CEO's, I get to hear them planning and dreaming and strategizing. Our company is doing well right now. We've been growing steadily and that's really saying something in this economy. :) Yet we can not grow fast enough for our enthusiastic customers. They write on our facebook page all the time asking us to bring a new store to their town. I don't know what all goes into being able to open stores but I sure know there are people out there who want them bad.

Very soon I may be learning how to do more of the marketing for Facebook and Linkshare and Twitter and others. Social network marketing is a very important part of the marketing puzzle. I sound like I'm trying to sell something, but I really am excited to be involved in such a modern marketing movement.

Also, I got to have my little niece in the last photo shoot. She'll be in the next catalog and if I'm not mistaken, they liked her so much that they're going to use her for one of the department posters in all the stores.

Darn it! I am out of time. I feel like time is a ball on the end of a string and some kid is swinging it around in circles so fast that you can't even see it! Sigh. Time for bed!

Time Marches On

As you can see, my paycheck hasn't been all coming home as of late... :S lol. I couldn't resist when I saw my cute little Alexis niece in these little outfits! Isn't she a darling baby!


Don't you just love Fall? I do. Today was so beautiful. You can see in the above photo, Kitty is so helpful whenever I need to work at my desk. (You can also see that I need to clean up my desk. lol)

Well I've been busy with work. I feel like the days, weeks and months are flying by.
Here is a photo from one of our recent photo shoots. Who knew this cute little historic farm/reception center was out in the middle of happy valley. I am VERY happy that the weather is cooling off so that I don't get sunburned at the photo shoots anymore. The past 2 have been at places where I could hide out inside thank goodness. My job at the photo shoot is to stay with the clothes and make sure the right kids are in the right outfits at the right times. Sadly, I don't get to see much of the photography happening. But I love photo shoot days all the same. I love working with the little kids.
Here's a picture of my darling niece in her naartjie outfit. Doesn't she look beautiful! I can't stand how fast she's growing up!!! I miss her so much.

Well there really isn't much going on with me right now. I am just keeping my nose above water and trying to learn my job. The past month or two my primary calling has got me longing for children of my own again. It's true that my primary class is a handful at times, but I sure love those little stinkers. I had all sorts of drama going on this Sunday with them. There was a bloody nose, a finger got pinched in the hinge of a chair, a bite of Sculpey clay was chewed up and swallowed and the children insisted on sitting on the floor during class. *sigh* but we survived.

Anyhow, that's what is going on with me. If you want to see the emails I am designing for work, go to the naartjie website and sign up to receive them. The box to put your email in is at the bottom right of the home page. But I warn you... those clothes are cute and most of you will be very tempted to buy things for little people, your own and otherwise! I know from personal experience!!!

House Sitting

Hey everyone! I just learned how to make animated gifs in Photoshop. So pardon the old photos here... Just testing one out.

Here's how I've been feeling at work... "er... I can't come up with any creative ideas today!" lol. No. My job is rewarding and challenging at the same time. I do have a hard time trying to shape my designs into what the boss is looking for. I think with time as I get to know what he likes it'll get easier. I stress a lot about it right now though. Sometimes I think I haven't got a creative bone in my body. I get a new assignment and my mind just goes blank. I hope as time goes on all that creative juice inside me gets flowing again.

This week I am house sitting for my aunt in Salt Lake City. You can see behind me that I have a cat to keep me company. That's Chloe. I've known her since she was a kitten. We're pals. She likes to snuggle with me.


Anyway, that's what's been happening with me lately. Really not a lot going on. I'm on a medication that is making me break out like crazy and making it hard to sleep so I feel like a grumpy, whiny, hideous troll this week... ha ha. See you later.

Enough is Enough!

I have just about had enough with the murderous beast I live with. I can't prove which one did it but one of my cats keeps bringing in birds and mice and squirrels! All mostly dead. Tonight I came down to my room to find a mass of feathers and a lone head of a sparrow.... no body, just the head. Does that mean they ate the rest of it? Or is it hiding somewhere in my room that I couldn't see.

Help! I've already put bells on their collars. Any ideas? Anyone....

Fireworks & Happy Birthday

Here's a few photos to catch you up on what we've been up to around here. We went to my favorite place for fireworks, Sugarhouse Park, on the 4th.


Bryce enjoying his glow necklace

Then this week was my sister's birthday. We had a nice dinner here and gave her presents. :)

Fake smile

Real Smile

I'm still not feeling great. I really hope this doesn't last much longer. I really miss feeling good... or even okay. But I'm hanging in there.

My boss is leaving for a vacation on Wednesday and wont be back until the following friday!!! YIKES! I am so nervous. I'll be on my own. Hope it all works out! I'm sure it will but my nerves are tense at the thought. :s

Photo Shoot & My Ramblings

So I've been at my new job for a week and a few days. So far so good. Yesterday was my first photo shoot. We are putting out our fall line soon and so of course we need photos for the catalogs and stores and web site so we organized a photo shoot with local kids. (If you want to get your munchkin in one of our photo shoots, call me and I'll tell you how to apply.)

Anyway, the photo shoot was fun. Lots of cute kids. It was an all day affair. We got to the site around 9 and finished up around 4. I have a lovely sunburn. Yes, I put on sunblock... and YES, I missed some spots. D'oh! Oh well... I'll be a lobster for a while.

Even though I like my new job, I must say I HATE starting new jobs. I am such a nervous wreck not knowing how things work or if I'm doing okay or what I'm doing. For the next few weeks I will be wondering every day if I'll survive. My boss is very cool though. He's super patient and fun to work with.

In other news, I'm still not feeling like myself. I know this has to wear off sometime, but it's scary and I feel like I'm losing myself and everyone I love. The past two days I've kind of gotten paralyzed in front of the tv after work. I sit there and wonder what the point is in my life. Is it just to work? Does anyone else ever wonder what to do with their life? I kinda wish I was a mom. It seems to me that would feel really purposeful. What kind of questions run through your minds, you mom's out there?

I guess the thing I really want the most is meaningful relationships with friends and family. I don't want to feel alone. (I know, just like everyone else). Anyway, that's what's been on my mind today. What's on your mind?

Starting my new job

So I start my new job tomorrow. YAY! I am super excited about it. And of course I am a little nervous to start something new.

I don't have a lot to say today but I wanted to let y'all know I'm still out here. I'm still working on medications and wow... I don't feel good! So any and all thoughts or prayers to help are appreciated. Mostly I just feel anxious all the time right now. I'm praying a lot.

Thats all for now.

Here's to hoping that I can be myself again soon!!!

Love you all!

This about sums it up

My medication's not working this month. I'm trying to be positive and fake it a bit longer. Fake fake fake. See me over here smiling and trying to make this real! Lol. Sigh. I want to laugh because something is funny and that heavy thing in my heart or stomach isn't blocking it.

HA HA HA HA. hmm. Not working.

I just needed to vent for a second. Anybody want to go do something with me?

The new job starts on the 21st. Until then I'm working for Media Communications. They've been extra nice about the whole thing. The one person I was worried about is the most excited for me. I guess she has her own designer anyway. I'm excited to get started... There's always that first six weeks or so that is tough while you're getting used to a new job but I think I am going to love this one.

News. I have news!

I got the job at Naartjie Kids! I can't tell you how surprised I am and how happy! I have to figure out how I am going to tell Media Communications. Man I HATE confrontation! But I'll figure it out. Just thought I'd give y'all an update!

Kayaking

I finally got to go Kayaking! We went up past Pineview Reservoir in Ogden to a little place called Causey Reservoir.



Keeping a dog balanced in a kayak is quite a trick! Good work dad!



And just for fun, here's a picture of kitty after her bath. Can you see how insulted she is that I got her wet! lol.

I love this picture. Whoever drew it rocks. I found it online. Though today I wish to use it in response not to confusion... but less-than-impress-ed-ness. I went into the D.I. to find some little things and they were playing country. I tried to have an open mind... but this picture fits real well with how I feel about country music. To all country fans... Don't take offense... To each their own eh.

I had an interview with a place called Naartjie Kids clothes on Wednesday. It went really well. This is the second time I've interviewed with them. They were very complimentary of my portfolio again. Oh I hope for that job. It sounds like a lot of fun and it pays well. Until then, I will stay with Media Communications, which is an okay place to work... just no benefits and having a hard time getting officially hired.

I know, kind of boring... But I felt like posting, so there you go.

And....

Yeah... they didn't tell me. Who's surprised?

And the Verdict is...

They say they'll tell me on Tuesday (my birthday) if I get that job. I'm SO stressed about it today.
There's a project that I didn't get finished today that I needed to and so I'm being asked to come in tomorrow (sans pay) and finish it up. Not demanded... but asked. It bothers me a little. I won't stay with them if this happens often.


Anyway, I feel so slow! I feel like a legless hamster in a running wheel: GOING NOWHERE! And super uber stressed about the whole thing.

This hamster has legs, so you'll have to imagine one without and then you'll get the idea of how I feel. lol. So that's what is going on in my neck of the woods.

The latest

So today they pulled me in their office for a meeting. They said that they're going to keep me to the end of the week to see if I can speed up on things. If not, they'll go with someone else. I have this thick fear that I will not be able to get up to speed that fast, but we'll see...

That's the main thing going on in my life. One interesting thing... I think my cat can teleport. One minute I am walking out of my room and he's laying on the bed asleep; I walk up the stairs around the corner and into the kitchen and he's already there laying out on the floor. How the heck did he do that!!!

Still Don't Know

I still haven't been officially offered a job yet. I interviewed with Sundance Catalog this week as well. I really like that job prospect too. I hope I hear something soon.

In the meantime.... I've been making practice computer bags so that when I use my expensive fabric I'll do it right.
Bag #1 Quarter sized. It didn't work out so well. I am pretty sure the instructions for this thing were translated from some other language! lol.



Bag 2: Half size... this one seems t have worked much better. The only thing is, I didn't think about it and I went and Ironed the dang velcro rendering it melted and useless. Oops!
Here's the lined inside.


And finally, a cute picture of my silly dog.

Waiting... waiting

I still don't know if I have the job. They now say they want to have me work until Friday and then let me know. My dad says that's a good thing, meaning they liked me enough to not send me away yet. I also have a second interview with Sundance Catalog on Thursday. If both jobs are offered to me it is going to be a HARD decision to make between the two. Sundance offers 6 work trips to western states per year, but doesn't offer as much growth as a designer.
News Linked offers fabulous opportunities to develop my craft, but few if any benefits (medical, dental, leave, savings, etc.) Hmmmm....

Anyway, I have to go scrub spray paint off of my hands before work. What have I been doing??? I'll never tell! Mwa ha ha ha ha! Go ahead, try to guess.

It's time for bed

So I haven't said anything yet because I want to wait until I know that it is viable, but I think I MAY have a job by Tuesday! It would be with a little company called News Linked and I would be doing mainly magazine layout! Just what I want to do! I'm really hopeful that I'll get it. But until I do, I'm trying not to get TOO excited! I'll let you all know soon.

P.S. I haven't done any more on the bag yet. Sigh... Me and my crafting A.D.D. Maybe I'll work on it some more tomorrow night. Until then, have a great day!

Sunshine and Chemicals

Hi All,

I'm feeling so much better than the last time I posted. Wow, I was in the pits. Thank you so much for your loving comments! I really do love you guys so so SO much! I'm on a new medication and have been for about 6 days. It seems to be helping already. I'm still feeling nervous that it'll stop working and I'll crash, but for today I feel really good so I'm not going to worry about it.

I'm working on making a little computer case. Holy cow! Bag making supplies add up to a large price tag! I am not going to make it out of the materials they say you should next time! Sigh... I wanted something to do and apparently none of my projects at home were good enough, lol, so I had to go buy this stuff. (Oh credit card, I have abused you again!) Anyway, I got all the stuff and it was expensive so the bag better turn out good! Stay tuned. I'll leave pictures when I'm done with it.

I Know you dont understand

I've been having a hard time again. It's hard to write about it. Connections to people mean so much to me, and I know mental illness still carries such a stigma. I don't want to lose you my friends. I miss you so much as it is now. The truth is that I have mental illness though. I sometimes feel very irrational. I want to be all smiles and goodness just like you... somehow I keep ending up here instead.

It hasn't been this bad in a long time and I don't know why it came on so strong and so fast. Whats worse, there's so little anyone can do for me. I'll see another doctor next week. I'm struggling to last that long... Then it will be on to more guessing about which medication to try next. I dread the side effects that inevitably come with those drugs. I just want to be normal. Anyway, if you don't hear from me much right now, that's why. Sometimes I can fake it like everything's fine, just not tonight.

I miss you all.

Man, I feel crappy. I'm tired of it. It's endless.

ZzzzzOnk!

Medicine is dumb. But sometimes you have to take it. I've got to take this stuff for a few weeks and it REALLY zonks me out! I feel like I'm on a liquid drip of ambien! *shrug* I suppose I have the luxury of sleeping for 3 months. Hmmm... Not my favorite way to spend my life. Oh well.




I'm thinking of doing a little service project this summer. It's for low income mothers and mothers-to-be. They would have me throw a baby shower and collect as much stuff as I can for a newborn to 18 month old. I then take it to their center where the moms in need are given everything they need for their baby.
One thing I like about it is that they are not just giving out hand outs. I read that the mom does have to do a small number of "chores" or something to earn things for her baby. That way they are sort of rehabilitating the mom so she will be able to feel like she earned the supplies and like she can provide for her family.

Let me know what you think of such a project. I haven't signed up yet because I don't know if my friends would want to participate in something like that. It's just like a regular baby shower, only you don't know the real mom... I'd be the pretender mom.

Well I've done it...

I've applied to go back to school. The Applied Tech school in Kaysville looks like the place. I wasn't getting where I want to be looking for jobs this past 11 months now... Ssssoooo... Here goes. I'm going to take some more classes to enhance the digital side of my career and I may just take a few courses in secretary stuff too, to get me something I can do in case my career doesn't pan out as fast as we'd like.

I've been feeling down a bit. I'm keeping busy but I think what I need is a job to make some progress on paying off old student loans. Also it would feel so nice to be able to live on my own and not feel so dependent for everything.

Anyway, just a quick post to move those twinkie sushi things down a bit. :)

Twinki Sushi

So one time a long time ago I was scanning the internet as I do almost every single day and I came across a recipe for Twinki Sushi. (insert credit-giving-link HERE)

My father took it to a family get together this past weekend and everyone was asking for the recipe or a how-to. So here it is:

Twinki Sushi
Serves 4-ish if you have 2 each and fight over the last one.

What you'll need: 3 twinkies, 3 green fruit roll ups, orange slice candies or Swedish Fish candy, a cutting board, a bread knife, and a sharp tipped knife.

bread knife

Sharp tipped knife
______________________________________

STEP 1: Cut the ends off of the twinkies with the bread slicing knife and eat them or feed them to your dog (your choice).


Next: cut the twinki into 3 one-inch thick pieces.


Repeat the process with the other 2 twinkies. You should end up with 9 pieces.

Step 2: Unroll a fruit roll up (leave it on its wrapper for now.) One fruit roll-up per twinki should do.


Place a twinkie piece on the top and cut along both sides of it. (We tried wrapping the whole twinki in the fruit roll up and then slicing it but it didn't work as well... kinda got squished.)


Now peel the strip off the plastic and wrap it around your twinki slice.
Repeat with the other 8 pieces and place them on your serving dish.


From the remaining fruit roll-up pieces, cut a bunch of thin slices as a garnish.
I laid them across the top of the twinki and stuck the ends to the side like so:
Chop up a few pieces of orange candy or you could use dried fruit too.
Use as an additional garnish on the Twinki.
Also, you could use Swedish fish or any other candy you choose.

Serve to your guests with chocolate and caramel ice cream topping (wasabi sauce). Chopsticks optional.
Lots of fun. I had two neighbors fooled into thinking it was real sushi. I had to explain to them that it was candy! lol.